March 1st 5:35pm - Broken Bones and Gashes

You Know You're Drunk When...

You awake in an unknown house and appear to have been violated by a 13.5 ton African Bush Elephant (see text messages I received below):

SP: "My first night back drinking resulted in me waking up in a random house on the couch in my boxers with a broken hand and my right eyebrow a gash."

SP: "I think I fought a brick wall. I seem to dislike those when I'm drunk."

Me: "Or maybe a tree or parked car? One of my friends tends to get angry at those when she's drunk."

And Later:

SP: "My love for milk has saved me again as after two rounds of x-rays the docs still can't find a fracture. They are in such disbelief that I have to return for more x-rays in a few days."

Me: "You are Super MilkMan. Milk deserves a medal."