March 3rd 11:43am - Indian Party?

A few years ago, a friend of ours proclaimed he was going to have a party two nights later. My friends and I (excluding the host) concluded the Christian course would be to construct a costume party. Heedless of the host's non-costume party propensities, we prepared an electronic invitation to a Thanksgiving-theme party... aka Indian and Pilgrim party. Our intoxicated state dictated we record the costume requirements (Get your asses to a Thanksgiving party Saturday night. The door will not allow you in unless It deems you dressed accordingly. So be a pilgrim or an indian, bitch!), and then continue in our inebriated spirits of screeching karaoke and verbally violating passersby from our second story window ("Hey, look at this guy, he's cute! You, you're cute!" - to a 40-something short, plump Mexican with gold teeth, aka Beer Goggle Beauty). In two nights, we gowned ourselves in grocery bags, our Indian smock substitute. The logic: brown grocery bag = dead animal fur look-alike. We pre-partied in my apartment, befuddled our brains with booze, and decreed bag decoration a necessity. Hours later, we pierced the party to find no costumes. Not one feather headdress or turkey scampering through knife-wielding college Pilgrims and Indians. No corn peace offering. We advanced, neglecting to acknowledge we were the only ones in Thanksgiving apparel, i.e. grocery bags. During a coherent moment, I overheard a conversation between two conventionally clothed chaps,
"Who are those girls and why are they dressed in grocery bags with dicks drawn on them?"
Response: "Oh, they're soccer girls." 
That comment concluded the conversation. Apparently enough explanation. Soccer girls.
One of my Indian-clad companions/teammates departed the party when her  boyfriend hoisted her over his shoulder like a corn-seed sack and exited the house.
We eventually realized we had been so engrossed with hollering into microphones and out the window a few nights prior that we had composed the costume theme invite, but hadn't emailed it to anyone.
This is us: Pre-Party Perfection:

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