March 6th 11:43pm - July 4th, 2008 You Know You're Drunk When...

Gems compiled from last 4th of July:

You Know You're Drunk When...

* You're convinced you can take 11 Jello shots in two minutes and not feel the alcohol.

* The following day you exclaim, "I can't believe I never went in the water!" and your friends immediately reveal pictures of you in the hot tub and the lake.

* You visit Safeway and an array of other stores that provide alcohol and Dry Ice. At every stop someone tells you to be careful. You ultimately make and explode numerous large bombs.

* You discover the police are coming soon, so you set up Monopoly, the girls replace their shirts, and the guys play Frank Sinatra on the stereo to elude the cops.

* You fashion Dry Ice into various bombs and detonate them. Parents and police arrive to remove some of the offenders, and you volunteer yourself, even though you weren't involved, because you feel left out.

* Police and parents force you to leave Boozy House for the Family House (toddlers, parents, and elders), and you walk over a mile back to Boozy House with one friend on a fantastically busy street at 2am with only sleeping-bags for warmth.

* You are so intoxicated you believe it's 2am, but it's actually 8pm.

* You swim to a buoy naked at 5 in the afternoon.
Countless families adorn the docks and surrounding shore.

* You join your friend and his girlfriend in a threesome because someone jokingly suggested it.

* You ask your friend if you can throw her in the lake, she says no, and you instantaneously hoist her and carry her into the lake with you.

* You and three other girls become competitive about lap-dancing abilities and demonstrate on every man to prove their superior skills.
* A girl informs you she'll meet you in the back room to make out and she never appears. This recurs three times. Every time you are equally excited and announce it to the room.

* You kiss three guys you haven't previously met.

* You black out five times in one day.

* A friend says he'll drive you to the store, you refuse because you deem it faster to run,
and you insist upon walking/running six miles to get beer only to find the store closed.

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