These texts concerning pre-schoolers (4-year-olds):
* "One of my students brought a condom to school today."
* "One of my kids got a haircut and now has a marijuana leaf shaved into the back of his head."
This concerning Thanksgiving weekend:
* "I injured myself last night while force-feeding a boy salami and cheese."
"He liked it."
And this from a department store's display window in San Francisco: