The English are eminently recognized for their fanatical soccer passion.
It was a soccer trip to London. Four reputable coaches, two parent chaperones, fifteen boys between fourteen and eighteen years, fourteen girls aged fifteen to seventeen. The girls would compete at the professional level, the boys at the semi-pro. Practices run by English coaches for a week and a half, we would train English-fashion, compete at premier levels, and absorb English athletics, culture, and history.
My parents deemed the trip a good idea.
Day 2: Four raucous English teenage males exhibited their beer aptitudes. Seven raw American teenagers observed two English boys’ gnawing knacks. They expertly removed beer bottle caps with their teeth inside seconds. We, untrained Americans, despite manifold efforts and shouted counsel, were not so skilled.
Day 3: The same riotous Englishmen revealed veritable beer-bottle proficiency. One striking, refined gentleman demonstrated his expertise: strike top of beer bottle with palm and bottle’s bottom plunges to ground.
Day 4: The male team’s solitary goalie attempted to attain the standard situated by the previous night’s Englishman. He struck the top of a beer bottle with his hand, the bottle’s neck broke, and he unintentionally powered his naked palm into jagged glass.
Day 4: Late Afternoon: Genius Goalie’s mom (female chaperone) dashed son to the hospital. He couldn’t compete for the remainder of the trip.
Bonus Material: Genius Goalie is currently a Navy Seal.
Day 5: A curfew was instituted on the American representatives in our entirety.
Night 6: Inebriated teenage girls, abiding by curfew decree, draped ourselves on open window ledges and harassed all who passed. Our four esteemed coaches staggered by, embellished with our beer-expert English friends’ bicycles. Chuckling coaches disassembled bikes and rolled, flung, and hurled the innumerable elements into bushes, trees, and sidewalks.
Night 7: The two male seniors on the expedition assailed two coaches, capsizing twenty-gallon containers on them. A chase ensued. A elementary-aged Chinese group also residing on campus was not amused.
Night 8: All Americans on campus: Lockdown. Three of our female teammates Spider-Womaned down the dorm-building wall to join English Beermen.
Night 9: Two male teammates separately concluded their nights in the infirmary attributable to streaking injuries.
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