December 14th 8:46pm – Elf Party: 3rd Annual

As mentioned on December 7th’s entry:
The Annual Elf Party generally encompasses costuming ourselves in Christmas attire, consuming copious amounts of alcohol, and exhibiting irrational decisions.

The following transpired at the 3rd Annual Elf Party:
Mini-skirts, felt reindeer antlers that exploded with colored lights at the tap of a button, brown sparkling scandalous stockings, and Ugg boots (doubling as reindeer hooves) embraced our bodies. We were equipped, organized, and inebriated. We – six females – entered the Elf Party.
Two hours later revealed one incomprehensible reindeer seated on the sidewalk outside the bar with two reindeer and a scantily clad Mrs. Clause convened around her. Two Reindeers and Mrs. Clause ineffectually endeavored to entice Boozy Reindeer to rejoin the party. Boozy’s greatest contribution to rejoining consciousness: crooning Christmas carols. A bewildered homeless man lurched past, orbited back to Reindeer and Mrs. Clause, and united his voice with theirs in song.
Reindeers and Mrs. Clause surrendered party idea and adopted a get-Boozy-home strategy. Boozy vehemently rejected that proposal and instead insisted on rocketing to her feet and darting down the street. Sober Reindeer raced after her, followed shortly by an inebriated Mrs. Clause and another reindeer. Spectators watched as Boozy snaked down the sidewalk pursued by reindeer, hobbling Mrs. Clause (recovering from knee surgery), and reindeer.
A Travelodge complete with un-costumed male drunkards assembled on second story balconies appealed to Boozy Reindeer. She sprinted into Travelodge’s parking lot and up the stairs. Sober Reindeer penetrated the lot to see Boozy Reindeer lean over the railing howling, “Merry Christmas!” Sober watched as Boozy virtually tilted too far and almost plummeted to the concrete below. She rushed upstairs to cajole Boozy to return to ground (safety) and home. Boozy laughed and shouted, “Merry Christmas!” to cheers from the men. Mrs. Clause crossly clomped up the stairs and ordered Boozy to a waiting car. Boozy giggled. Mrs. Clause repeated the command. Boozy giggled. Mrs. Clause angrily hit Boozy Reindeer in the head. Boozy giggled and hit Mrs. Clause back in the head. Hits repeated. And again: livid Mrs. Clause and laughing Boozy Reindeer striking each other in the heads. Watching men on balconies robustly applauded the continued Christmas character’s clash. Sober Reindeer thrashed between Mrs. Clause and Boozy to thoughts of: this is some bullshit, and, after much exertion, powered Boozy downstairs. Boozy Reindeer escaped and ascended the stairs again to laughter and ovation. The same commotion ensued, and the tussle concluded with Boozy being wrestled into a car.

No comments: