December 23rd 6:58pm – Last Night. Birthday Dinner Conversation.

Two families. Eight people. Prime rib. Five wine bottles. Dinner conversation:

* A blacked-out cousin getting arrested in Santa Barbara on Halloween and waking the next morning in a hospital bed with a split lip, throbbing jaw, catheter in his penis, and no recollection past drinking at a friend’s house. The police report included assault against an officer, resisting arrest, drunk in public, underage drinking, and damage to a bystanding car.
* In younger years, a girlfriend getting hit on by an unknown man, girlfriend tells boyfriend, and boyfriend + friend tipping Unknown’s car on it’s side.
* Same man, also younger years: instigating a fight with another unknown, getting hit by a policeman’s riot stick and restrained by Policeman while Unknown sucker-punched him. He and friend ultimately concluded the night in jail.
* Same couple, woman, family in tow, visited not two or three, but seven or eight Christmas tree lots investigating for the flawless tree. After extended deliberation, she returned with family to Lot #5, and Almost-Perfect Tree was already purchased. Obliged by not-so-ecstatic family to select a tree, she did so and returned home to find tree was cut with a slant. Requiring a straight-cut tree, she appealed to Husband to mend it, and in response he subsided on the couch and slept. Not amused, she called the tree lot and requested they send someone to cut the tree properly. They did, and Husband awoke to a roaring chain saw wielded by a stranger in his living room.

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