September 8th 10:35pm - Lunatic Van Driver
The past couple of years I resided on a relatively busy street in San Francisco. Friends arrived at our apartment armed with booze, smiles, and lecherous moods. After pre-gaming a bit (and by a bit, I mean hours), we exited the apartment, almost falling on the descent down the stairs. Stomping our ill-fitting heels, alcohol in hand, and voices raising, we ran onto the street to flag down a cab. There were seven of us. One taxi arrested its motion only to yell, kick us out, and speed off, dust particles darting into the violent wind once he realized seven of us desired to get in his four-passenger car. Forty freezing, barren minutes elapsed. One of my friends took it upon herself to flag down commodious vehicles appearing to hold legions of passengers. She succeeded. An old Volkswagen van rattled to a stop. We crowded around, hands rubbing forearms, forcing friction to assuage the cold. We looked at the ramshackle buggy with motor. We shrugged at each other. Eyebrows raised and lowered. The driver agreed to drive us wherever we desired. We nodded. Someone pulled the handle of the sliding door and, creaking in protest, it opened to reveal an outer-worldly unparalleled universe. Rocks tumbled over the ledge. A dim lime green light illuminated from some undefinable source betrayed the existence of undefinable shapes, some of which resembled boxes. We looked up for any cabs. There were none. One girl sat shotgun, completely disconnected from the back of the van into which we gathered. During the ride a box tipped over, divulging masses of plastic horses. The kind my siblings and I played with as children. They varied in shape, size, and color. One was missing a head. The van twirled around a particularly rough bend, toppling a bag. Bones and resulting screams scattered. Eventually the hell-hole screeched to a rest and we tumbled out, falling on each other in desperate attempts to exit. I got a knee in my back and a slap in the head during the mass exodus. Limbs flailing, we threw each other out of the abyss-on-wheels and scampered for the club door. We later saw her walking a dog down the street.