I have resolved I'm going to sell shirts through this site. Shirts adorned with writing.
The following are the ones I contemplated before settling on four:
* I reply with, "That's what she said," whenever possible.
* I drink. What's your hobby?
* My liver hates me. My life thinks I'm fantastic.
* I love being unemployed, I have so much more time to think.
* When I met them they were quasi-attractive.
Then I got drunk, they were models, and I was God.
* You can never get enough motorboats.
* Good news, bad news.
Good news: you look hot.
Bad news: I'm drunk.
* I love my Blackberry. I write memos every time I have thoughts.
* All women are crazy.
* My favorite part about dancing is making girls uncomfortable with my raging boner.
* It wasn't me.