February 21st 3:48pm - Texts Currently in My Phone

Me: "Today I somehow won two hundred dollars... I don't know how. I'm drunk."
M: "I hate you! Today I got punched in the face by one of the four-year-olds I teach."

* "I think that people who can't sing naturally gravitate towards country where it's just loud talking with an accent."

* "One middle-aged person to another, 'Cheer up, ten years from now you'll never believe you were this young. Either I'm getting drunk or that's funny.'"

Me: "I certainly hope you got some good use out of Boondock Saints."
SP: "By 'good use' I assume you mean try to learn Gaelic and the most dramatic way to kill people... which sounds like an awesome idea to me!"

* (Vegas Result): "The x-rays were positive... and negative. There's a fracture but the doctor says it looks like it's old because it's more smooth than usual. But I can't recall when I might have fractured it before. I feel like I should remember such a thing."

* "Me to myself: 'Since my knee was cut up I wonder if there is any blood on the inside of my pants... Oh dear God what animal got slaughtered in my pants.' HUGE blood stain."

* "She's going to play Varsity soccer so I will be coaching her which should be interesting. Also, she's the vacuum that gave my brother the big-ass hickey that dominated his neck."

* "New use for Blackberry: grocery list."

* "My parent's house is childproof and it is making my life very difficult!"

* (Concerning Mardi Gras in New Orleans): "First parade tonight was insane... I got 23 beads without flashing... I can't wait for you to come!"

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