S: "She's crazy. She actually likes me. I was blacked out, known her two weeks, told her I loved her."
K: "I want to blink and be showered, drunk, and ready to go."
J: "No butter time than now."
S: "Is that our house with all the Christmas decorations?"
SP: "If it is they'll all be molested and destroyed."
B: "I love being human. Humans are the best species, they're so smart."
M: "Kyle, you look like a hot chick."
N: "Did you ever hear about the Vodka-soaked tampon method? Shove a Vodka tampon up your ass and you get drunk because it skips the large intestine digestive tract."
Girls: "You'd never be able to shove a soaked tampon anywhere."
E: "Well, weirder things have been shoved up asses before. Live gerbils feel good."
J: "You should soak a gerbil in Vodka and then shove it up your ass."
KY: "The first time I realized Scotty was crazy, we were camping and saw a real cougar across the river. Scott chased after it with a bat."
N: "Bobby-style is male rape."
E: "Bobby-style is bro rape."
S: "If we're riding mechanical bulls tonight, I need to change into tighter pants."