I love my friends like I love Christmas. The most diminutive devices excite them, such as Taco Tuesdays, Darth Vaders (an alcoholic drink as potent as O.J. Simpson), and government combat shotgun requirements.
Drunken Patriot: "Only two shotguns passed the government's requirements for a combat shotgun. Both models were Mossberg. One of them was mine. I feel like a proud parent."
Me: "Oh dear God."
Drunken Patriot: "That's a great idea. I should write God with a letter thanking Him for blessing me with such an amazing object : )
Drunken Patriot: "Bobby G's response: 'Congrats! Now I see what being a gun owner is all about. It's the little moments that count.'"
Continued Conversation Between Drunken Patriot and Bobby G:
Drunken Patriot: "I like buying it anything it needs because it makes me happy whenever we spend time together."
Bobby G: "You clean it, play with it, live with it and show it affection. I just got my first rifle and I just hope that I can be half the parent you are. I really look up to you man."
Drunken Patriot: "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll do great. We should have our little ones play sometime."
Bobby G: "Ya, I think they'd get along well. They're both black Americans with white dads and no moms. They already have so much in common."