The University of San Francisco’s weight room, locker rooms, training rooms, and offices reside below the basketball gym. Accordingly, those marching up from the locker room, etc., to life outdoors oftentimes inevitably journey by the basketball court. Striding up the stairs, one of my friends (and former teammates) perused the players below. She swiftly deduced that those rippling-muscled tattooed older men were not USF men’s basketball team, but rather a professional basketball team. Her dreams and desires confirmed by the appearance of LeBron James, she dashed out of the gym and tore through the dorms to her room. She seized her roommate, snatched her camera, and snagged a small box of heart candies originally intended for one of the trainers as a thank-you gift. She dragged Perplexed Roommate to the gym, babbling something about the Cavaliers and LeBron James. She eventually regained coherency and announced their existence in our gym to her roommate, gesturing majestically toward the door she had exited from a few minutes prior. The door was locked. She elongated her neck and coiled in abnormal positions that normal humans should not be permitted to attempt in efforts to glimpse LeBron James again. Her roommate adhered to the unnatural-body-position plan until they admitted defeat as locks and guards obstructed all doors. They resolved that this one-time opportunity was not prone to present itself again. So they waited. And waited. They lingered until the team exited. LeBron ambled by, accompanied by backpack and team.
“Mr. James, Mr. James!” my friend roared.
He didn’t acknowledge the fanatical voice reverberating his name.
“I have a present for you!” she persisted.
He ceased walking and rotated.
“You have a present for me?” he inquired.
“I do!” she exuded exhilaration.
She bestowed upon him the heart candies (sheathed with her name and phone number) and then requested a picture with him. He conceded. Roommate (no longer perplexed) captured a priceless, hilarious photo.
My friend, grin-consuming face, positioned her arm around his back. Mr. James stood, easy smile, candy box in hand.
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