June 9th 2:12pm - The Hangover

The movie The Hangover is reminiscent of my most recent Vegas variation... minus the cop car cozen, the bathroom tiger, the baby, and the marriage. We lost our friend like I lost my dignity years ago in a bar when I drunkenly persisted in making out with an overweight thirty-year-old Mexican after he got a bloody nose and kept insisting to my friends, "I clean! I very clean!" 

Exiting the theater, I discerned that, like the movie, we had to piece the previous night together by following clues Sherlock-Holmes-style. We lost a friend in Hooters around 8pm. He reappeared at 4:30am limping on a dilated, damaged foot, having lost a cowboy hat, two hundred dollars, and a baseball cap. By hydrolyzing his Hippocampus, he vaguely recalled a stadium, a parking structure, the House of Blues and being awoken by security guards in both the stadium and parking structure. We surmised he left the hotel room and splurged the remainder of the night sleeping in sporadic locations around Vegas. Online research did not expose any stadiums connected to casinos. It did, however, link the House of Blues with Mandalay Bay. We called Mandalay Bay's lost and found. They had a sports complex and black cowboy hat found in the parking garage. We halted at the Hofbrauhaus (a destination we all scarcely revived as we had arrived at 5:30pm) in search of the baseball cap. We convened in the car in Hofbrauhaus' parking lot trying to envision its possible post when I answered a call from another friend who lived in Vegas. The baseball cap had been left in his truck the night before. 

"We went in your truck last night?" was my response.

We have yet to fully realize the cause of his foot or the loss of the two hundred dollars. When he did go to the hospital, the doctors were so shocked after two rounds of x-rays with no reflection of breakage or fracture that they made him return a third time. He credits his resilient bones with his milk obsession.