* "Record high. 5 of my students pissed their pants today. And one strangled another, then punched me and called me a bastard and said he's gonna tell my mom to whoop my ass."
* "I supposedly got blacked out. Got in a fight with my family and got kicked out of my own cousin's wedding."
* (and later): "I forgot to tell you. At the wedding my drunk uncle backed into a ferrari... no bueno."
And a few from the photo sector:
I'm a winner
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