July 29th 3:28pm - If I Were Britney Spears

Britney Spears is constantly stalked and harassed by the paparazzi. They pursue her, they hassle her, they hound her. In response she runs over their feet with her car, she attacks them with umbrellas... essentially she doesn't counter their actions with the most prudent tactics.

If I were Britney Spears, I would mess with them. I'd mess with everyone.

I’d go buy one of those pregnant bellies and wear it sporadically. I’d just wear it out for a stroll in the park or to the grocery store. I’d wear it for three weeks or so and then ditch it only to don it again five months later. Just to mind-fuck people.

P.S. Britney, if you’re curious, I believe the official title is “empathy belly.”