Email to a friend:
"So my body has finally stopped loathing me like the Jews loathe Hitler. Now I'm enjoying everything, and it's fabulous.
My ankle has stopped bleeding, I've ceased liquid excrement eruptions, the one hundred and twenty-one mosquito bites I received in one night (literally - I counted) have stopped itching... I've adjusted to the rampant urine smells, constant dirt and dust, abject poverty, and cows everywhere. They are literally everywhere. Wandering through the freeway and causing traffic jams, blocking hallways and entrances, in the middle of intersections... and aside from cows everywhere in India, there are also penises everywhere. Men generally just don't care. Seeing penises in India is like seeing women with their shoulders uncovered in the US - happens all the time. Yesterday I saw a forty-something man standing on the front porch of a hotel peeing into the street as if he were the god of nudity and it was embraced like religion.
Conversely, today I was at the beach in a normal bathing suit, and I obviously have no boobs - they're smaller than when I was an overweight 7-year-old - so nothing too exciting there, but every single woman on the beach was covered from their necks to their ankles in clothing. I just don't know how they do it. It's hot, we were on a beach. With sand. And water. One would assume they'd show a little skin. I swear women were walking by me with their children pointing me out and telling their offspring, "See that Western woman? She's a slut. Never look like her! It's completely inappropriate. She's showing her shoulders and her stomach! We stay covered in extreme heat on the beach."
I could almost detect male erections because of my scantily clad body... but then I realized that, 1: I have horrible eyesight, and 2: I don't think Indian men are necessarily very well equipped in that region, so I could have imagined it.
Speaking of men, it's quite interesting here. There are absolutely no male/female displays of affection, but male/male public affection is everywhere. Men hold hands while walking down the street. They put their arms around each others shoulders while sitting on a bus. They lightly rub
each other's legs in cars or on trains. It's like a male loving/cow festival every day. It's fabulous!
"I feel like you just described an alternate reality of San Francisco."