July 5th 11:47am - Day of Independence Quotebook

I squandered my 4th of July in Sacramento with a multitude of male friends. Our conversations were as comical as the time I ran into my aunt's sliding glass door, fell down, and peed my pants.

* Boozy (after Blacked Out rubbed Boozy's leg): "Stop, you're making me question my sexuality!"
Blacked Out: "Your mind tells you no but your body says yes?"

*Tikky: "He got lucky."
Blacked Out: "Oh, no. I work out."

* Tikky: "'All you can eat' are the best three words."
Drinky: "That's four words."

* Blacked Out to Boozy: "Hey, what would you do if a guy tried to rape you?"
Boozy: "I'd rape him right back."
Blacked Out: Wouldn't that make you gay?

*Drunkard: "Weren't we talking about him recently? Isn't he pregnant?"

* Me: "Do you know Corey? He went to college there."
Drinky: "No. But I know someone named Corey Ubalde. He died from blowing his nose."

* Tikky: "Balls always hit me in the head."

* Drinky: "My hair is finally growing to the right side of my chest!"

* Boozy: "I don't motorboat boobs. I motorboat vaginas."

* Drinky: "How sad is that? You go from being on top of the world with some hot chick to being a twenty-year-old with jiz in his pants who has to change his underwear."

* Boozy: "I had a record amount of wet dreams. I contemplated putting a sock on my cock."
(a minute later - still Boozy): "I used to jiz in my pants like three times a night. I kind of miss it."

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