April 2nd 8:53pm - Peruvian/American Conversation

The following conversation occurred when Drunken Patriot was temporarily passed out upstairs in a Lima hostal.
I, armed with Pisco Sours, Rum, and beer, responded to the proddings of a Peruvian.
His name appeared to be Peruvian Arthur. He looked like a Child Molester. With a Molester Van.
Molester Van Man (MVM): ¨You and Scott are married?¨Me: ¨No, we´re just friends.¨
MVM: ¨But you will be married?¨
Me: ¨No, we´re just friends.¨
MVM: ¨But you are together? Boyfriend-Girlfriend?¨
Me: Beer sip. ¨Nope, just friends.¨
MVM: ¨You sleep together?¨
Me: Pisco Sour sip. ¨No, just friends.¨
MVM: ¨No sex?¨Me: Revert to Rum. ¨No.¨
MVM: ¨But you will be together?¨
Me: More Rum. ¨We are just friends.¨
MVM: ¨No sex with him.¨
Me: ¨Nope. Still no sex with him.¨
MVM: ¨You could have sex with me?¨
Me: Rum sip. Rum choking. ¨Yes, I could.¨
Me: Rum chug. ¨No. No sex with you.¨
Me: ¨Where the hell is Drunken Patriot?¨

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