Email to my friend:"I got stuck in San Pedro, Chile with a crazy fifty-something Chilean, who, the first day I knew him, informed me he had been cheating on his wife for years, had five legitimate sons and one illegitimate son. My response: Dad?? The second day he showed me his penis. This was disturbing. The allaying aspect of his penis performance was that I was with four other travelers between the ages of twenty-one and twenty-nine. I was trapped in San Pedro because the bus to Argentina only leaves three times a week, and it just happened that I was caught there for four days when I originally wanted to stay two.
The result of this was that I traveled to Salta, Argentina, and then to Iguazu - gorgeous waterfalls - and met three Aussies. We began drinking at 3pm. By 9pm we were in an Internet cafe. One of them convinced me it was, in fact, a wise decision to purchase a plane ticket from Buenos Aires to Lima. I drunkenly agreed with this surmise. Even though the one-way ticket was two hundred dollars more than my entire round-trip flight from San Francisco to Lima, and even with the flight I could only be in Buenos Aires two days, the excessive South American beer consumption informed me this was rational. So I bought the ticket... on one of the Aussie's cards. As I have limited cash and no ATM card, one of them put a $637 expense on his. So the same day I met the Aussies, I owed one of them $637 because I drunkenly bought a flight. The next day (today), I can't help but think that my intoxicated brain is under the impression that I'm Santa Clause. Miss you!"
"What? Are you drunk?"