September 10th 5:17pm - Story Time: Wrist Breaker Wanker

During the journey from Manali to Leh, we bonded like concentration camp survivors. Over dinner the Brit, Aussies and I recounted the drive, otherwise known as Satan's amusement.
"I cried," the Brit admitted with Ghandi's honesty.
"I thought we were going to slide off the cliff. I began writing my will," an Aussie added.
The conversation progressed to sex.
Two topics are always available in India: sex and bowel movements.The Brit recounted that when he was fourteen, he severely broke his wrist while wanking. This seemed as feasible as a future career as a leprechaun lord. He showed us the surgery scars.
Stories of sex on trains and planes ensued, including a cut penis and a sex attempt.
"I don't know how I cut my penis, but when I got an erection, the blood pumped into my penis and volcano-erupted. There was blood everywhere. I was so drunk I kept accusing this girl I didn't know of being on her period. I told her to stop bleeding so much... it was a one-night stand," another detailed.
Somehow we sped to significant others and dating.
"If I was to speed-date, first I'd ask if she could lay an egg, what size it would be, what color, and what it would hatch into. Then I'd ask her favorite animal, then, her second favorite animal," Wrist Breaker Wanker declared.
Yoshi is his favorite animal. Over the successive weeks we discovered that Wrist Breaker Wanker is a twenty-two-year-old physicist getting his PhD in liquid crystal technology at Oxford. Role-playing as foreplay is ideal, particularly in cat apparel. His cat obsession straggles behind his Yoshi infatuation. He's a master juggler and crystal ball maneuverer who is incredible at card tricks and dabbles in guitar.
"When I retire, I want to breed cats," he informed us, as serious as the atomic bomb.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hahaha, who is this guy? i want him! bring him home to cali.