March 15th 2011 8:40am - Boobs and Bush

After my first experience with the FIT Extreme class at the gym, my pride took weeks to recover. A roomful of geriatrics had dominated the fitness class. At the end, they had sashayed out of the class, and I crawled.

Last week was my second attempt at a class. I had been frequenting the gym at eight or nine in the evening, but this class was at 6:30pm. I walked into the changing room and it was packed. My eyes darted from boobs to bush to boobs to bush. I didn't know where to look. My breasts are so small they don't fit into a bra, so I am very comfortable being naked. Men have tits larger than mine. However, I am not comfortable being enveloped by old naked women. I stared at the ground while changing. I glanced up and I looked directly into brown hairy nipples. I looked down but could feel someone observing me. I flashed my eyes up into a three-hundred-pound forest of pubic hair and then over to a girl staring at me in the eyes from across the room. I didn't know what to do, I was flustered and confused. I screamed across the locker room at her, "Did you go to Montgomery High School?" There was no immediate response. I looked down again. When I looked up, she was looking at me like I had asked her if she injected drugs into her vagina.

"Me?" She yelled, "high school?"

"Ya," I shouted.

"I'm in middle school," she replied, smiling. She had braces.

I looked away, but my eyes connected with a brazilian bikini waxed vagina. Sweat swept into my eyes and my heartbeat reverberated through my body. There were so many naked women. I ran to the showers and directly into the largest naked ass I had ever seen. The woman had a small waist with a ginormous ass. She might as well have injected collagen into her butt cheeks. She screamed, I screamed. I wanted to cry. It was my fourth grade teacher.

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