Me: "Hunny, you probably shouldn't play with your doodle in front of people."
Three-year-old: "You have a doodle?"
Me: "No, no, we've been over this. Boys have doodles, girls don't."
Three-year-old: "Mummy has a doodle."
Me: "No, your Mummy doesn't have a doodle. Your daddy does."
Three-year-old: "She does has one. Mummy's doodle is growing. I saw it."
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Three-year-old while on the toilet